Mille Bornes! Or…something

Let’s play a game, shall we? I’ll call it Awesome or Annoying, and we’ll talk about things here in Paris, categorizing them into one column or the other.

To get started, let’s do a trial run. It’s an easy one, don’t worry, and has nothing to do with Paris. We are just getting your instincts warmed up here.

Nat King Cole’s “Unforgettable”? Awesome!
Natalie Cole dubbing herself into her father’s classic? Annoying!

Need one more?

Matthew McConaughey running on the beach? Awesome!
Matthew McConaughey running on a treadmill on the beach? Annoying!

Ok. Now they may get a little harder. Feel free to partner up if group work makes you more comfortable than going it alone. Answers are below each picture.

1. The mannequins in Paris.

Awesome. They are the most active mannequins in all of the world, so fit and sexy! Anyone who loved the 1987 hit movie “Mannequin” would love it here (although if these suckers come to life at night, I am headed out of town asap).

2. The crowds.

Annoying. This picture does not show a great example of this, unfortunately. The gorgeous day when this was taken, though? Awesome. As for the Eiffel Tower – well, that’s pretty great, too. It’s really beautiful.

3. This crazy slide along the canal:

Awesome. I wanted to give you an easy one, in case either one of the previous questions tripped you up a bit. Clearly, this is a great slide. However, when I got up close to inspect the landing area, I realized it’s basically just a pile of small rocks. I imagine the landing is anything but awesome as a result. Too bad that I’m too tall to go down the thing to find out for myself.

4. Pigeon crap.

Annoying, of course. But the fact that this gentleman is scraping it off of his car with a nail file? Awesome.

5. This row of shops:

Awesome. You know why? Because you can go get quinoa and biologique products and then go to the sexy store for – you know – your sexy needs. I love the unabashed combination of errands.

Bonus, semi-related question: this sign?

Yeah, you got it: Awesome.

6. Graffiti in Paris.

Awesome, hands down. Do you see how someone has cleverly graffittied a carrot coming out of the ground? It’s so great! And people drawing on rocks to make them look like little faces? Yes, yes, I’ll take more of that, please.

7. The dolls in windows and at flea markets.

Creepy. If you have to think twice about this one, there might be something wrong with you. Look at these things. At least if the mannequins rise up, surely the dolls will too, and all the doll parts, and they’ll do battle on the streets of Paris, and of course – of course – the dolls would win. Why? Because they are creepy and awesome, all at the same damn time. (Ergo, partial credit for choosing awesome.)

8. The cereals in Paris.

Awesome. This isn’t even a question. Do you notice something about this picture? They all have chocolate in them – all of them. And this is the diet section.

9. Getting a rash on the backs of my hands.

(…ok, you don’t need a picture of this one.)

Awesome – but you weren’t expecting that, were you? You know why it’s awesome? Because for about 10 minutes I was convinced it was bedbugs. Bedbugs! Absolutely, totally freaked me out. Even the word makes me want to itch. But then I went to the pharmacie and no, it’s just an allergic reaction. Damn tricky translation from Chinese into French.

10. This view from a bridge at the Parc des Buttes-Chaumont:

Awesome, awesome, awesome. Maybe not for the reason you think, though (although of course you are entitled to your own reasoning!). Here’s mine: this view looks exactly like something that could have shown up in my 7^th-grade French textbook. It’s like I’m in the textbook, and Madame Bloom is having one of my 12-year-old classmates read aloud, and I’m hearing that person from within the pages. So really, this is not just awesome. This one is actually amazing.

Good job! I’m guessing you answered all of these correctly. I will be sending you a set of mismatched doll legs as a prize. Félicitations!

(Oh, and in case you were wondering: yes, this post is both awesome and annoying! Thanks for playing!)