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When the sky is heavy with smoke, it is heavy too with a feeling of dread. It is a distraction. A worry, even when the fires are not nearby, even when you’re safe, as I am. Ash on the cars, ash on my puppy’s head, ash at my feet, standing bare on the wooden planks of my front porch. The world, orange at times and sepia at others, cries out for help. I feel like doing the same, even though there is no immediate danger, even though there is no one to come to my assistance, even though I am one of the lucky ones.

I think it’s just that – more than anything – I long for some things that used to exist and that currently do not. I long for blue skies, yes, and I long for my family, and for travel, and for going to the movies and for going into friends’ houses and for so much.

Hopefully the skies will clear, and the smoke will end. Hopefully we will all be better, soon.

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